I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
