he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
