i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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