let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
