a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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