Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
