My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
