dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i think im in europe. pls send help
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
