I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
