Its about making memories worth repressing
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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