Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
