seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
