Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
