she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
