so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
ok first of all what the fuck
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
