Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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