Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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