if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
