So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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