I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
There's always time for handjobs
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
