Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
