This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
