her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
