IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
