with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
