your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
It's blow job season.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
