it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
