at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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