I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
