Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
