haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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