Don't you send me to vm
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
