I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
