Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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