The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
