I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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