i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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