if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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