Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
