My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
