Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
