The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
The adults are the big ones right?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
