Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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