absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
