Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
