I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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