im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
