I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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