This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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