he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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