Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
