You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
